I have always found cemeteries intriguing. Not in a morbid sense, but in the way they can be peaceful, park-like places filled with hidden stories and secrets. Now I was going to write a post about all the intriguing headstones one can find at old Jersey City’s cemeteries, especially as Halloween approaches. But this post took a twist and turn, and I fell down a research rabbit hole, that uncovered a tragic tale from Jersey City’s past.
In the heart of Jersey City lies the Old Bergen Speer Cemetery. Originally an apple orchard owned by the Van Wagenen family of the Apple Tree House, it became a family burial ground when the land passed to the deMotts. In 1857 Jane and Abraham Speer, an undertaker, purchased the land, making it a public cemetery open to all, regardless of religious affiliation. Among countless headstones, one caught my eye - the headstone of Mary E. Pomeroy.
Why did she die so young and why did her friends take such extraordinary care in her headstone?
A look at her death certificate states as the cause of death: “GRIEF”. Mhhhh, while I don’t deny that you could die of a broken heart, this made me really curious.
Mary Ellen Pomeroy, who was born around 1846/7, came to live with her uncle and aunt when she was around 9 years old. Her mother had passed away and her father had remarried. The headstone’s age strangely doesn’t align with her actual birth year, adding an extra layer of mystery.1
Mary later lived with her cousin James Smith Miller and his wife Ethelinda on 52 Van Reipen Ave. She played the organ at Prospect Ave Church and gave music lessons to support her cousin’s family income. It was at the church where she crossed paths with the young Reverend John Stuart Glendenning.
Their relationship evolved, growing more intimate.2 The Reverend gifted her jewelry, like a gold watch, bracelets and earrings as well as sleeve buttons. And one day she also received a wedding band, leading her to believe that she was to be wed to him. She told Ethelinda about the ring, when she got it and that the Reverend was going to ask cousin James for her hand soon. The Reverend, revered as a man of honor by the family, would call on Mary sometimes 2-3 times a week and chat with her in the parlor. They were often left alone, as the family trusted him.
However, this story took a dark twist, when Mary became pregnant, and when she couldn’t longer conceal her pregnancy, she told Ethelinda and James and said the father was Reverend Glendenning. After her cousin heard about this, he wanted to force a marriage and went to Justice Aldridge. Mary testified under oath that she was with child and that the Reverend was the father of said child. She stated that when the Reverend attempted to seduce her, she refused, but he had told her that this was alright, as they would soon be man and wife. Upon this testimony, Glendenning was arrested and brought before the judge. Not only did Glendenning refuse to marry Mary, he also produced a paper signed by Mary, which stated that she had sinned with others, but not him, and that her guilt went beyond him, leading to his release.
Tragically, Mary deteriorated after his release, and she gave birth to a baby girl before she passed away a couple days after. Before her death, she asked for Judge Aldridge, who took her statement in pencil:
“…I feel as though I have not long to live. There have been great many things said about me. I now - in the sight of God tell the truth - that John S. Glendenning is the father of my child. He has denied it and he still denies it; but he, and no one else is the father of that child. He has said things against me. I was afraid of him; but now I am not. He may have papers but that does not clean him”
Justice Aldrige went back to the office to write the statement in ink to return to the house so that Mary could sign it. Meanwhile, Mary confided in the people present at her deathbed that the Reverend had drawn a pistol and threatened to kill her, if she didn’t sign the paper that absolved him of blame. When Justice Aldrige returned, she unfortunately passed away before she could sign her statement.
As she was laid to rest, many came to pay their respects, including respectable families reflecting the community’s support for Mary’s virtue.
Despite many witnesses, and the statement of Mary - alas unsigned - Glendenning escaped civil prosecution mainly also because the baby didn’t become a public charge. On October 14, 1874 he went on trial before the Presbytery of Jersey City. Glendenny again denied having ever had any relationship with Mary, and stated he never threatened her. All he ever wanted, was the best for her- of course. The church acquitted him, but several elders voted against him, leading to his discharge as a minister of the church in Jersey City.
Glendenning married in 1876, then went West and pursued a career in different States. Alas, the friends of Mary, made sure the story followed him, and he eventually became a lawyer, dying in 1938 in Kansas.3
Mary’s friends raised money for a monument in her honor, with 500 people gathering at Speer Cemetery on August 15, 1875, for its dedication. And while most attendees were female, about 25 men, including Justice Aldridge and ex-Mayor Sawyer attended the ceremony.4
And what became of the child? It took me a while, but finally I found her. Ella Pomeroy found a home with Mary’s brother Albert and his wife in Michigan. I hope she had a wonderful live - she was married later and had a son and she now rests in eternal peace.
The story touched me - I felt incredibly sad for Mary. Her ordeal, the deception, and her untimely demise remind me of the challenges that women faced in the past and still encounter today. It is a story that transcends time, a reminder of the ongoing struggle for justice and dignity.
So, on my next visit to Speer Cemetery, I will leave some flowers for Mary. It’s a small gesture, but it’s the least we can do to remember her and honor her memory.
And that, my friends, is how the idea of writing about old cemeteries in Jersey City, led me to uncover the sad story of Poor Mary Pomeroy. May she rest in peace.
Thank you for reading the tale, and joining me on this research rabbit hole,
Nat
P.S. I discovered that the Prospect Ave Church had been renamed into Westminster Presbyterian Church. The original church where Mary played the organ was torn down and newly erected in 1896 on the corner of Summit and Magnolia Aves.
I had no idea that church there was that old …and while I am happy that it is still in use preservation hearts bleeds a bit because…oh boy, what did they do to that church in the 70s?
The National Archives in Washington D.C.; Record Group: Records of the Bureau of the Census; Record Group Number: 29; Series Number: M432; Residence Date: 1850; Home in 1850: Ovid, Seneca, New York; Roll: 597; Page: 126a
Several articles in the Jersey City Evening Journal contained the witnesses statements at court.
The Evening Journal, Jersey City, November 17, 1875 “Glendenning Boung West”
The New York Times, August 15, 1875 “Mary E. Pomeroy’s Monument”