Taking a sabbatical

...and how it is going so far

Sabbatical: An extended period of time away from work for study, travel, or personal growth

It feels odd to take a sabbatical as a full time artist. Why would you do that? Isn’t what you are doing your dream job?

Granted I worked as a full time artist but mostly teaching online and in-person workshops, doing licensing design and once in a while finding time to paint on canvas. I had changed my career path from a paralegal to a full time artist 12 years ago and loved what I did, until I didn’t.

Not the painting, researching or writing part, I still love that.

But the administrative drag of teaching, creating content, being present all the time to create even more content, market the content to make a small living and getting caught up in social media, technical stuff, people commenting and emailing and all sorts of things that brought me further and further away from what I had initially set out to do, my own art.

I do not love it.

I never really said this out loud in public, because I sound ungrateful - it was a successful endeavor - doing online workshops for many years with the main focus on an annual event to which I invited 30 other artists and administered the event with 1200 students on average every year for 11 years.

Successful because I think I brought some joy to students, and maybe also teachers, successful because I was able to pay something to the collaborating artists and pay for web designers, an half-time assistant, and all kinds of other costs.

Unsuccessful because it wasn’t really enough to make a living and because the more I tried to make it grow, to make it cost effective, the more I walked into cinderblocks. Additional costs, additional administrative work and administrative emails…gosh so many fucking emails!

And as a side note, no, I am not apologizing for this language…because a lot of the emails or comments came by the armchair police who loved to tell me in often pretty rude ways how things should be done and I have cursed many years into my studio but never let on to that in public. So here you go…fuck this.

But let’s continue.

My full time art gig was furthermore unsuccessful on a personal level because I walked further and further away from doing what I loved - the creating part and what it involves in my Studio…Nathalie’s Studio.

To be honest after the height of the pandemic years, I felt lost. I had worked so hard and nonstop- just like many other people, not just during the pandemic, also before, and it gave me a sense of purpose of course, but last year I really fell into a deep paralyzing moment of creative blockage.

Some things had to change, and some things had to give…to what and how?

No idea.

And that is what the sabbatical year is supposed to be for! The big lightbulb going off…the path back to creating art, the answer on how to conduct my business without loosing myself in things I don’t want to do.

I started in January 2022 - big announcement to my followers. I basically stopped social media for my Nathalie’s Studio instagram, facebook, I didn’t write newsletters, no blog, nada.

Fast Forward …Mid-April - how is it going?

Let’s say I am doing ok…I am doing really ok - no real light bulb yet- no massive amount of creating paintings yet- just a couple here and there. At least one per month is my goal so far, and I have been good with that but no more. The only thing I know is, what I don’t want to do to make this all sustainable. Great…LOL

I did and I am doing a lot of other stuff. Stuff I don’t really know what this will bring to me in terms of my business or as an artist, but I am enjoying it and I want to write about it. I want to share it- because I miss writing …because maybe writing about it will give me clarity on how this all will come together.

So here I am. poking my head out on Substack because it is not my blog, I do not have to fulfill expectations yet like on my website, blog or my instagram account or my newsletter…and for now…I can just talk into the void about my daily art -and not-art experiences. Just like I did over 20 years ago without a real plan with my first blog. Which eventually lead me to quitting my job as a paralegal and over the years venture into being a full time artist.

Maybe that is what it is all about…just taking another step in the right direction away from what you know you don’t want.

Nat